Wednesday, November 30, 2011

NaNoWriMo Over

Woo! I'm a winner!
I finished my NaNoWriMo challenge yesterday, then just to rub its nose in how easy it was, I wrote more than 5,000 words today just to prove I was awesome... Yeah, I have problems, so what? Now that I'm done with the challenge, I'll get to work on this list of important things:

Write up the anniversary day post, write up a post tomorrow for Hunny's birthday, make a tacgnol scarf for Bubble Tea Boutique, and make the first comic for Oh Bento! all in that order! In case you didn't get that, this is that list, again, in list form:

1) Write my anniversary day post
2) Write a post that will go up at midnight for Hunny for her birthday
3) Make a tacgnol scarf.
4) Make a weekly webcomic.

All this could have been done already... if I hadn't stopped writing my book just to wait to the last day to make it a challenge again. Don't believe me?

See all those flat places where nothing was written and then the huge spikes in written word? No, I didn't just not upload... I took breaks from writing and then wrote those huge spikes of word the day I uploaded it to the site.

Oh, and an update on the Terror: I haven't watched her all week, so most likely... I'm done.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Butt Gremlins

 So the other day, the Hedgehog is just laying on the bed when he suddenly announced in a cheerful voice, “I have butt gremlins!”
“They go: ppppbbrrrrruuuupbt! That’s how they growl.”
Then he got  up, and as he walked away, he farted. “Oh, that’s Ted. He says hi.”

Hallway Children

 We were expecting the Alien to come by today, so this morning when someone knocked lightly on the door, me and the Hedgehog assumed it was him. Yawning, I sat up as the Hedgehog looked out our peephole.
Instantly his face changed, and he turned and came back, laying back down, informing me that we needed to be quiet now. Confused,  I got up and went to the door myself, peering out into the hallway.

I recognized that girl.  She was one of the hallway children who bothered me a lot. Yesterday she’d been bothering me about a phone… Aside from that one time I let the neighbors have a cup of sugar, we’ve never  shown any  willingness to give them things, so it seems really weird that they always ask us for stuff. Constantly. Groaning, I let out a sigh and went to the bathroom.

But the knocking never stopped. Every other moment there was another, soft, but very insistent knocking from our door. It was constant, never ending… This girl wasn’t giving up, she was determined someone was opening that door. Something came over me: my mind started whirling, my heart started pounding, and I knew if I didn’t get back soon and take care of the problem, the Hedgehog might lose his own temper.

So when I came out of the bathroom, I opened the door, looked her in the eye, and said, “The Hedgehog doesn’t get  home till after midnight and we don’t go to bed till after four, so if you don’t want us knocking incessantly at your door at 4am, could you please stop?”
She stared at me, silent, bewildered, until finally... “Can I borrow the phone?”
Eyebrow twitch. “No.” And I shut the door.
After I settled myself back in next to the Hedgehog to go to sleep, he informed me, “I wouldn’t have been so nice.” I smiled though. Maybe not, but I still felt kinda badass.

Friday, November 25, 2011

If You Read This, The CIA Knows...

What doesn't help my case:  this freaks me out somehow...
 Okay, by this point in time I doubt there is anything I could do to make you guys think I don’t freak the fub out every time something slightly weird happens,  especially not with the following story supporting evidence against me… I mean, telling you all I love horror movies and creepy pasta would probably do nothing to sway you…

Anyway, when I went to the Renaissance Faire with my friends, the night before we went, me, Lulu, and Tiffy shared a bedroom. Tiffy and Lulu had the bed, while I laid on the couch at the end of the bed, and after the lights went out we laid for a while and started talking; and after a while Tiffy started to fall asleep.

At first we talked about the NaNoWriMo contest and how I was competing with an old friend of ours who thought she was an amazing writer but who made Stephanie Meyer look like Shakespeare. From Stephanie Meyer we fell into how libraries are destroying books and we all want to move to Canada. From that we fell into how the US government could  pretty much care squat about the average person, and the fact that most of them are just in it for money and power. Ultimate power ultimately corrupts, after all.
While I’m not exactly an insane conspiracy theorist, I pay attention to evidence, and when talking about the government, I can’t help but to bring a specific something up: “I still don’t think we went to the moon. I saw something on television once, about how in this one picture you can see the crosshairs behind the lunar lander. I saw that picture in my science book that year. It’s true.”

Somehow other things we doubted about the government kept coming up, and the more we talked… the more the room started to feel creepy  and defiled. Shadows looked like they were jumping in the corner’s of our vision. It felt like being little again and afraid of the dark and monsters under the bed.

What if there were members of the CIA laying underneath the bed listening to us talk, ready to pounce at any moment?!
It got worse when I brought up something that had never made sense to me: “And with black boxes being virtually indestructible, able to be found even in ocean crashes, how is it we never found a single one of the 9/11 ones…?”
That was it, we couldn’t take it anymore. Getting up both at once, Lulu and I rushed for the bedroom door and opened it a crack, letting light from the bathroom fill the room. Instantly we were relieved, and I let out a sigh.
Feeling safe again, Lulu and I went back to bed.

Thanksgiving: Redux

Okay, so I thought I’d get rid of all the awkwardness of my freak out from yesterday by redoing my Thanksgiving post. Bigger. Better. And with more awesome pictures.
How do I stop alienating my audience...?
So I’ll start this way:
Surprisingly and amazingly delicious!
So me and the Hedgehog decided that we were going to make pumpkin soup for Thanksgiving. It’s a recipe we stole from Legend of Zelda, and thought we’d enjoy since we’re huge gamer nerds. Though it’s seen again in Skyward Sword, you get to see some of the ingredients in Twilight Princess (pumpkin, onion, garlic, fish) so it wasn’t so hard with both of our creative and cooking abilities to make some. We made a pot weeks before Thanksgiving and it was amazing, so  we were ready to go!
This message has been Link approved.
Okay,  well  I made sure I was pretty because for a girl, looking pretty is like wearing armor for us.
A consequence of my Viking DNA: dramatic hair.
Well, because I was terrified of his mom and I didn’t know most of his family, I spent most of the day hanging out and talking to his step-sisters, despite a gap of four or more years between us.  It’s okay though, because they’re pretty darn awesome, and the Hedgehog treats his sisters like they’re  his best friends in all the world,  so after we had Thanksgiving dinner (more like late lunch) me, the Hedgehog and the younger of the two I’d met before went out walking.
It was a nice day out and we walked out to the mud pit, this huge open place where people go mudding, only we were walking on the path next to it. It was fun, we all talked about ghosts and crazy  things we’d seen, and the Hedgehog and his sister reminisced about stuff.

Then we broke beer bottles against stuff.

Thursday, November 24, 2011


So I couldn't come up with a way to get out of going with the Hedgehog to his mom's house today. Mostly it was because he was so damned supportive and told me to stop freaking out. See, one of the benefits of this blog is that, as a socially awkward person who's terrified of confrontation, I can put my thoughts up here that I could never say aloud, because writing on the internet doesn't scare me as much.
Because on the internet, I feel like a boss.
This means the Hedgehog saw my last post, laughed at the thought of me trying to sneak off, told me I was ridiculous, and we had a normal conversation about how I should handle Thanksgiving today.
I felt like someone going into battle...
So I spent the whole day laughing with his step-sisters, both of which are either just going into high school or already are, but both of them are hilarious and awesome so it doesn't matter, and I pretty much felt like I actually fit in for once, aside from some awkwardness. See, I met them before and they make me feel comfortable, so I'm just fine with them.

... Whaddaya know...? This isn't so bad...! Whooo!
When it came time to come home, however, both the Hedgehog's mom and the Terror's mom offered to drive us. At the same time. In the same car. I thought this would be the confrontation I'd been expecting...
Oh gods...
Except it never happened...

Surprisingly, this makes me feel worse.
But they're driving the Hedgehog to work, so I'm almost positive it's happening there... or worse, they'll drive back and talk to me... alone... without the Hedgehog... oh gods...
Edit: It's been 45 minutes, so they're not coming back.
Still terrified.
In fact, the only thing I do know at this point, is that there's a 99% chance I won't be watching the Terror ever again...

... She's my Chick Pea...
Edit: Okay, so they didn't talk to the Hedgehog either... but even he agreed it was suspicious and he'd been a little weirded out when they didn't talk to us on the way home.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Worst 50th Post Ever

... You know how I'm an easily terrified person? My mind sits and thinks about how things can go wrong so I'm always prepared, but sometimes something happens that even I haven't thought of; maybe it's something so good my brain thinks it's a trick, or maybe it's something so bad that all of my instincts scream at me to run before something worse happens.
This has happened to me a lot in the past, but only in the years after I lost my mom. After I lost her, I changed. I couldn't take confrontation, couldn't handle change... Believe it or not, I didn't get terrified at every little thing that might go wrong. I've run a lot. Get in a fight with my dad? Run. Get in a fight with a friend? Run, then make excuses not to talk to them. Get in a fight with my dad's Girl-Fiend? Get forced into a fight with her, then run.

Tonight's no different, either.

See, apparently the Terror (oh gods, should I be calling her that...?) had a bruise. I saw it today, she showed it to me. I figured it came from either when she made me pick her up and carry her away from the door while she was kicking and screaming, or from when her dad had to haul her up last night. Either way, it was getting blamed on me... Remember my fear of the Hedgehog's family hating me? Thinking me a horrible person? Yeah, well it happened, apparently... They are mad at me...

And every single fiber of my being is screaming at me to run, trying to come up with plans so I can avoid confrontation all together. Even horrible stuff I would never do my brain is thinking of. Everything from "fake sick so you have to stay home on Thanksgiving and not talk to them" to "get up after the Hedgehog goes to sleep and walk away, we'll figure it out from there."
... What kind of horrible person am I if I'm thinking of running off in the middle of the night without saying goodbye to my Hedgehog? Or even that I love him? What kind of twisted, selfish, cruel-hearted person would do that?

I'm terrified the answer is me...

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

This Child is Planning on Killing Me

 ... I have a sneaking suspicion that the Terror is planning on killing me... After all, I spent most of the day yelling at her thanks to a new annoying habit she has of eating two bites, throwing the food away, saying she's finished, and then telling me she's hungry...
I'm full, I'm done eating... Can I have a snack, I'm hungry...
Not to mention she's continuing her trend of asking me the same questions repeatedly in a row, ignoring me when I'm talking to her so I have to repeat myself until my throat is hoarse to elicit a response from her, and just plain ignoring what I'm telling her.
What time is it? Is it four yet? What time is it? Is it four yet?
This is her playing with glass cups I told her to not touch 5 mins before.
Get up. Get up. Stand up. Get up. Getupgetupgetup.

I have a sneaking suspicion she has no short term memory. Also, remember that picture at the top of this post? That's her reaction after I took those glass cups away.

Terror Hates Pants

I think I've mentioned in the past that getting the Terror to put on pants is hard. She says she doesn't have any, and while sometimes this it true, yesterday I had to help her find some, so I know she has a ton just lying around. Since I'm supposed to be preparing her for school, this morning I told her she couldn't have breakfast until she put on pants...
Picture inspired by something Lulu said
And then I spent the next 30 minutes listening to her scream and cry and whine as she sat in her doorway, letting me know how horrible a person I was, occasionally stopping to yell, "But I don't have pants!"
Eventually she got hungry enough to put them on and come back, staring pathetically up at me: "I'm hungry..." She said, to which I replied, "Told you you had pants."

So How Does That Movie E-

So this weekend I was washing dishes in our tiny sink when the door opens, the Hedgehog walks in, looks at me, and announces that I'm naked.
 Well, since I wasn't, I answered back that, well, I wasn't. This was a good thing, because out in the hallway, the Hedgehog had brought along friends, specifically, a friend of his from high school and his girl. Well, I was pretty happy about this. I mean, I happen to like the two of them. They didn't say anything bad about me after I fell asleep on the couch the last time they were in town and slept through getting to hang out, and they like Yu-Gi-Oh.
After finishing the dishes and getting dressed (I was in my pjs, after all), we went out to Wal-Mart to hang out for a while. Well, while the Hedgehog and his friend walked around looking at stuff, I stalked the Hedgehog from the shadows and tried on numerous attempts to assassinate him. At one point I chased him through the toy section with a foam sword!
Once we were done risking getting kicked out of Wal-Mart, we went over to watch a movie with them, specifically Puss in Boots. We got all the way to the very end, all the way to the point where they're on the bridge... when the bootlegged disk had no more movie to show... So we made fun of the Soprano's and went home. It was an awesome day.

Bitch Be Tripping

When you surprise your boyfriend, and yourself, by shrieking, "Bitch must be trippin'!" when he tells you his older sister is sitting outside at 8am to pick you up even though her schedule says 10am... you might need to rethink your classification as a redneck...
"That's my sister."
"I'm sorry, it just slipped out!"
However, when you forgive her because she stops by Burger King and gets you a pack of hash-browns...

Edit: Yesterday when I checked her schedule on the fridge it said 10am, today it has a note under it about her doctor appointment today. Why add it after I go home and not tell me?

Monday, November 21, 2011

Don't You Make Me Come Get You!

How could you be so stupid, me?
... I can't believe this child made me chase her down... again. I can't believe I made the mistake of letting her play outside again... again. Honestly, when am I ever gonna learn? Do I have some kind of chronic brain problem that makes learning from past mistakes impossible?
 It's just the Terror's been so... terrible today. All day long she's stared at me in that strangely blank but vaguely sad and confused way she has, making me repeat everything innumerable times.

"Stop. Stop it. I said stop. Stop right now!"
 "Let the dog go. Let Noodles go. Stop it, let him go, he wants down."
 "Close the fridge, you just ate and you didn't even finish your food. Close it. No, you just ate."
 "Pick that up. Pick it up. Pick it up. Pick up your mess."
"Let him go. Leave him alone."
"Get up. Get up and let Noodles out. Get up. Up. Up. Up!"
That last one was followed by, "Don't make me come get you..." She stood up and started inching away, and when I stood, she bolted. I chased her down the stairs and around the back of the house before I could snatch her up without hurting her...
Update: Ugh, she just made me have to get up and turn her back around in the timeout chair after she tried to play with Noodles and watch cartoons... Which is impossible because the kitchen is blocked off from the television...

Update: ... And after explaining again how timeout starts when she's quiet, she tried to get Noodles to come over to her... again...

Edit: This is my 45th post...
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