Creepy Conversation of the Day

(The color changes in the next pic... tried to find a more tile-y color...)

So yesterday wasn’t too bad of a day with the Terror… I mean, she was a real, horrible, Terror yesterday, but the Hedgehog had the day off of work so he was there, and his little sister came over for a while, so the Terror wasn’t focused terribly on me… Still, she pitched an ever loving screaming fit because the Spawn and the Hedgehog’s little sis wouldn’t play with her? Or something like that… So to punish her for being bad I put her in timeout like I always do.

Timeout is a chair in the corner of the kitchen. Sometimes she sits and whimpers quietly for five minutes, sometimes she sits and screams and tries to move and I have to bump it up to ten minutes… Guess which one she did this time?

Not pictured here: a weeks worth of dirty dishes, and sanity.

 Oh, and when she sits and screams, she does it purposely, meaningfully, emphasizing each individual scream. And if I make the mistake of looking back at her she stares forcefully into my eyes, screaming short little blasts of “ah”!

"Ah! Ah! Aahh! Ah! Aaaah! Ah!"

"AH! AAAAHHHH! CAN'T YOU SEE I'M SUFFERING?!"

Well, while ignoring her so that she understands this won’t get her her way, Hedgehog’s sister came out, saw her in the kitchen, and told her, “If you want out of the chair, just get out of it.” and so the Terror did so… I may have lied when telling this to the Hedgehog by telling him that his sister picked the Terror up and moved her, because honestly… his little sister is scary and intimidating to my “shy-just-getting-to-know-you-and-therefore-not-comfortable-speaking” stage I go through. Normal me would like her, but for now she’s loud and aggressive and yells a lot at everything.

… All I could think was that my authority had been undermined… Whether purposeful or not (and I doubt it was, though she had to know that the chair in the corner was timeout) it put a thought in the Terror’s head: she could get away with anything, timeout was no longer a punishment…

I know this because a few hours later she got into raw cookie dough and huddled in a corner trying to eat it quickly before anyone noticed… right behind me… while my back was turned… I who thought she was just being a weird kid staring over my shoulder making slurping noises.

And I could’ve prevented it, too, if I’d spoken up earlier in the day when the Hedgehog’s sister had given her a chunk of the cookie dough. I could’ve said, “No, that’s your older sister’s, I don’t think she should have that”, but instead I clamed up and worried about how if I spoke up she’d hate me… But the Terror suddenly saw that the cookie dough was something she could have, and she did so…

When she got yelled at for doing it, she crawled under the table and proceeded to drag herself across the floor, looking pathetic and shoving at anything within arm’s length…

In fact, the only not bad thing that really happened with her today was a creepy conversation we had. See, after the Terror woke up I asked what she wanted for breakfast. Normally she wants pbj, because she freaking loves the stuff, but for the past couple of days she’s wanted toast instead. So I toasted her some bread and was looking for a butter knife, but all the forks and butter knives were dirty. Well, thinking she could help, the Terror grabbed the only knife left and thrust it at me, so I had to talk to her about how certain things are only for adults… (Apparently telling her how cars are only for adults doesn’t work, because the Hedgehog’s little sister lets her drive sometimes… Seeing a trend here...)

While telling her about this, we had this conversation:

Me: Knives are only for adults.
Terror: But mommy uses them.
Me: Well, mommy’s an adult.
Terror: She uses this one on her toe!

I was caught so off guard, I lapsed straight into, “Ugh, ew! That’s so disgusting!”

I then, because you should never tell a small child their mother is disgusting, had to cover it up quickly by saying that the Terror should never do such a thing… but I couldn’t help but ask why her mom used it that way.

Terror: Because her toe hurts.

… And the knife solves this problem?!