So why are you called the Thief's Horde?

Do you want the truth, or the awesome...? Because honestly they're both pretty much the same. I spent my childhood growing up in a lot of pretty strange places, and when I was living with my aunt and her family, they trained me to be a liar and a thief. When I moved back to live with my mom afterward, she had a shoplifting problem and I was about 12 before I realized what I was doing was considered wrong. I was a thief. I took books, dvds, video games, candy... Even now I still find myself looking at something I want and can't afford and glancing up subtly to see if I'm in the blindspot of a camera. I get the urge to do it a lot... It feels like love, too, which is probably why I got addicted: my heart starts pounding, adrenaline rushes, I feel excited and nervous and a little bit scared... Doesn't mean I do it, but sometimes that urge hits me and I feel that rush.

So yeah, the blog is named after me.

So what will you do when zompocalypse comes?

I figure since we live on what's the 2nd or 3rd floor considering the slope of the land, me and the Hedgehog will have enough warning to escape to the roof, where we will have stocked up on cans of food and jugs of water. We'll barricade ourselves up there until the sounds below us stop, at which point, armed with swords, we will raid the apartments below for food, water, and weapons...

Which do you prefer and why: whittling with soap or whistling with wood?

... Whistling with wood... I can't whistle on my own, and I assume that wood is my whistle...

Your superpower is that you smell like dandelions whenever someone lies. How will you maintain your secret identity?
Obviously I would become a flower girl and wear lots of flowers in my hair, but only I would notice the sudden increase in dandelion scent when someone lies.

You do realize that you used horde like a group of people and not hoard like a collection of gold, right?

Of course I realize, I was an English major and I'm an author. I meant it as a pun. See, I spend a lot of my time talking about the people in my life, my friends and family, my Hedgehog and his niece and nephew, so they're the horde in the Thief's Horde. It works because it also sounds like hoard, and my blog is a collection of stories and goodies. See, it's a pun. Which I totally meant...

Okay, so I'm lying... I meant it as hoard, a collection of items, but every time I write it into my word document I spell it funny and it gets corrected as horde, so that's how I thought it was spelled for both. I only just realized there was a difference and felt like an idiot for it, but since it works on all levels and I can't change it, I decided to roll with it...

You've been invited to a fancy ball but the only thing you have to wear is an orange wooly jumper. What shoes do you wear?
... I'm gonna pimp that thing... Someone get me my sparkly red shoes.

You forgot your mom's birthday! What can you make out of super glue and olive pits?

I would make a heart, and put it on her urn...

Why don't you ever wear a scarf? It doesn't need to be cold outside for your neck to feel naked.
I just don't have the body type to get away with that.

How would you explain where babies come from to a child?

... Considering all those kids toys with the cats and dogs and pigs having babies inside them?

You've got to make contact with the alien leader. How will you tell when the conversation is finished?
Moments of long, awkward, silences... probably filled with strange sexual tension.

Which is more important to you and why: flexibility or expandability?

Flexibility. In both myself and other people... in both meanings of the word... Being flexible means you can work with other people easily. Also, you don't get hurt so easy.

I hope I made you all uncomfortable.

I wanna friend you on Facebook!

Great, I made one for the blog so everyone can! 

What is the meaning of life? D:<

How tall would you be if you had never cut your fingernails?
 I think an extra foot with my arms over my head.

What will happen 2012? D:

A giant flaming marshmallow will appear just on the edge of the moon's gravitational pull and be flung into the earth, covering us all in delicious sticky goodness... This seems like a good thing, but it will gum up all the power plants and in the dark we will run out of food and begin to eat the marshmallow... and each other...

I wanna send you an email.

Awesome. My email for the blog is kleptokit@zoho.com

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