My Entire Life is Irony

My previous post has become extremely ironic to me, and yes, I do mean ironic as in actual irony and not ironic as in something that’s sort of funny in a way that situations would be funny if they could be sarcastic.

See, I had this horrible migraine that developed  whilst I was posting my previous post (which was shortly after reading Allie‘s post over on Hyperbole  and a Half… I  think I felt so bad for her I felt bad… Also, this is a shameless plug for someone awesome who gave me the courage to make a blog), and I felt bad enough that I crawled into bed, pulled the covers up over my head, and laid there, wishing I could die because I was sure death felt better than feeling like you’d puke every time you breathed. Well, while laying there, the Hedgehog called because he was on his way home, and I told him breathing made me feel like I might puke and talking made it worse. How talking made the feeling worse,  I don’t know, but it felt like every time my mouth opened I was gonna spew all over the phone, so I begged him  to  let me go. He agreed, but only if I would tell his older sister, mother of Spawn and Terror, that I felt bad just in case I still felt bad in the morning.

So I sent her this text, because talking made me wanna puke: Hedgehog wanted me to tell you I have a migraine and feel awful just in case I still feel awful in the morning.

See, she’d already sent me a message saying she’d be by at 9:15 am, and I’d told her alright. I wasn’t even going to tell her I felt sick, because,  hey? What’s the point when I should feel fine in the morning? I’m not the kind of person who lets others know when I don’t feel good. I was raised to suffer through it. Well… this is how I meant it:

“I don’t think this is important, but the Hedgehog thought I should let you know, just in case when you pick me up in the morning I’m acting kind of funny. I have a migraine.”

This is how she took it:

“Hey, I feel sick so I’m not coming in. Good luck finding someone else who only works for $8.50 a day.”

This is why I put pictures in my posts, so that you guys know that, even though sometimes my words sound cruel, I don’t mean anything bad about it. Sure, I sometimes wish there was a law about allowing me to punt other people’s kids,  but I happen to love the  little Terror… she is often times not the kid I want to punt, that is that kid in Wal-mart who’s screaming at the top of their lungs about not getting candy and the parents are trying to reason with it…  Do not reason with a child who acts like that, punish them,  they will learn that behavior won’t get them anywhere. I did,  so will they.

Instead of texting me back asking if I was still coming or not, she assumed the worst… which is also hypocritical of her because this one time she pitched a fit and called and bugged the Hedgehog and her mother complaining I was ignoring her because she texted me saying she would pay me on Monday and I didn’t text back an OK.

So, guess what? She did the same thing as in the previous situation, and when the Hedgehog got home, he made me feel like I was a naughty child. Not only had his older sister thought I was trying to weasel my way out of work, but his mom had decided to vent her spleen at him about me after hearing what had happened from her daughter… and here is where the irony of my previous post comes in.

She complains about me because the apartment isn’t clean.

See, in the previous post I explained that I feel like a useless, horrible, failure and a burden because I don’t keep the apartment clean, this is how I feel, yes, and while I suspect that people might believe it, I don’t really believe it’s true… yet it is, so that’s irony. The outcome I wasn’t expecting happened.

Another bit of irony comes from the fact that Hedgehog’s mom also thinks I don’t like her because I don’t talk to her… I don’t talk to her because I’m afraid I’ll say something stupid and make her not like me…



Also, there was a complaint that I don't spend enough time with the Terror, which occured because after the Spawn left and she was being bad I refused to play with her in an effort to  punish her for being bad (also might be because she was trying to get  me to pick one of her tiny pet toys and I wouldn't because I didn't want to play tiny pets any more) and she told her mom that it made her sad. (Which broke my heart hearing from the Hedgehog) So they blamed it on the internet and instead of talking to me like the adult that I am,  they disconnected the internet like I was a naughty twelve year old...  which made me feel the same way I did back when my dad realized I'd grown too big for spankings and that was the only way to have any effect on me 'cause I had too many things in my room to occupy me if he used that  as a  punishment... (Luckily the Terror made me feel awesome today, so...)

...My entire life is irony… I feel horrible… I can’t even think of  pictures to  make this situation seem better…