I Am Sooooooooooo Screwed

So last night after sitting around for a few hours plotting all sorts of post ideas with some key words so I remember what I need to write about, almost all of them about funny incidents or memories, I pulled my blog up to look and see how my posts look to you guys.

Me and the Hedgehog don’t really have internet at home right now, its been turned off until we can buy it again for a month, but Firefox remembers what things look like the last time you looked at them if you type in the address, go to another page, and click the back button, so I was reading through.

My ego got a tiny boost at seeing I apparently had a comment that I’d forgotten to read earlier, one from Jess, mind you, and that my pictures were kind of funny (though I really have to stop talking about my random depressed moments and hinting at my sad childhood… I’m supposed to be inspiring laughter, not pity... though the Cat Incident should inspire sadness and rage...).

Then I got to the Awesome post where I was talking about a FB convo I had with Lulu. While looking at the post I remember my pictures link to the blog, sorta, and I wondered where those pictures linked… Imagine my horror when I saw they linked straight to our FB profiles.

 For a moment I sat on the bed, panicking as I’m wont to do so easily, thinking about scary blog stalkers who secretly love me but are too creepy and stalker like to subscribe to my blog where I can see them because that would ruin their lurking abilities while they’re trying to friend me on FB; and then I would feel awkward and like I needed to accept because I’m nice like that… but then they would talk about the blog on there and the Hedgehog’s family would ask and the stalker would stupidly link it and then the Hedgehog’s mom would know I talk bad about her precious grandbabies and his sisters would know they annoy/intimidate me beyond all belief because I don’t feel like a proper adult like they are; and then they would legitimately hate me and the Hedgehog would leave me because he realized they were right and I would be all alone and paranoid in a world that’s cruel and harsh and no one would ever love me because I would have to become homeless again and no one would want to love a person who’s been homeless multiple times before the age of twenty-one.

 But then I let out a sigh of relief because all I’d have to do is simply not friend the people and pretend like I have no idea what was going on, besides, I would fix the pictures somehow in the morning before the Terror woke up. It’s not like just because my FB was linked on the blog meant the blog was linked to the FB. It would be fixed quickly before there was any damage done…

Anyway… So the Hedgehog had to ruin this momentary lapse in my panic by reminding me if I didn’t fix it and somehow his mom got linked to the blog she’d see that and know that it was me, because hey! There’s my FB!

 I panicked again…

She would see me talking bad about her precious grandchildren…

She would see me calling her daughter a hypocrite…

She would see me getting all annoyed and venty all over her family…

So I reminded him about how he’d accepted it pretty okay. I mean, you’d have to have absolutely no humor whatsoever to think I hate the little Terror, and I do mention that I’m actually only really scared of making his mom hate me… I mean, I’m just not a very well adjusted member of society. If I don’t know you, and I’m aware I don’t know you (which I’m sometimes not because I’m horrible with names and faces and sometimes if people both have the same eyes I’ll think they’re the same person despite drastic differences in everything else… It takes me at least a week of constant exposure to really learn a person.) I’m a really shy person. I’m terrified of making people hate me and saying the wrong thing…

The blog is here because on the internet I can be me without fear, but on FB I couldn’t be me without fear because this is the Hedgehog’s family and I love him and if they hate me the only logical thing he could do would be to leave me from sheer shame of being with a girl his family hates…

That doesn’t mean I didn’t fix those pictures, though. If you really wanna friend me that bad, stalker guy, I’ll make a new FB just for this blog.