Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Cathrin the Profile

 The following is the actual profile for her blogs, unchanged and unadulterated... except for the easily noticed red text where I interfere to explain things. Things spelled wrong are bolded with the proper spelling next to them, grammar and capitalization problems are underlined... I don't know how to point out her super short sentences or her run ons...

I am currently eighteen years old. When I was thirteen I started dating my Husband Chris. ( Honey, dating is putting it mildly: it was an internet relationship and you had no internet, you stalked him obsessively from school and made me make you an email account on my phone so you could talk to him.) When I was 15 I got pregnant with our fist child, however I had a miscarriage and even though we did not know the sex of our child we named her Feodora. (I met you when you were 15... I think you told us you'd had a couple miscarriages before... Also, nice going not telling them it was only a couple of weeks!) A little over a year later(,) when I was sixteen(,) I got pregnant with our second Child,(; or .) at thirty weeks and four days I went in to early labor(, or ; or .) Serenity was stillborn. (It's hard to get pregnant when you've never had sex with a man and the supposed husband lives several states away...) The doctors said that her heart could not take the contractions, and that she was gone by the time I arrived. (Looks like someone learned to lie better and finally started claiming to have gone to the doctor. Considering I know for a fact her parents didn't know, it's pretty hard for a sixteen year old to go to the doctor with a miscarriage without the family finding out, not to mention she claimed to hide her baby bump by belting it down and pushing it in...) Our most recent loss was Sterling Snow 1/6/11,(. or ;) Sterling was lost to early miscarriage,(;) I was three weeks and five days. (This is the only possible pregnancy she could have had considering she had actually met Chris by this point, except considering she was only two weeks late and then claimed miscarriage...? Pretty sure she was just a little late. After all, in invetrofertilzation they inject a woman with several embryos, and the ones that don't stick aren't considered miscarriages.) Now (that) I have healed some form(from) my losses I am working on focousing(focusing) on (Pick one, working on your writing or focusing on your writing.) my writing and becomming(becoming) an author as (,) after all, that is what I enjoy doing. (Aw, see, now I feel bad... I happen to enjoy writing and want to be a writer...)
 Grammar rules to learn:

When connecting several ideas that are similar but don't share a similar thought, you don't use a comma; you can either end the sentence or use a semicolon.

Spell Check: it is your best friend.

Capitalization is only for proper nouns, children and husbands aren't one of them.

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