The Weekly Kit: Cutter Kit

This one's kinda dark, guys... Also, I don't know what a cutter kit is, only that the Hedgehog saw a note about it at work a couple weeks ago.

Happy Birthday, Hunny!

Believe it or not, if it wasn’t for the Blonde One, I would never have met Hunny, or even Lulu and Tiffy for that matter. Heck, if it wasn’t for the fact I was so ridiculously talented, I never would have met the Blonde One!

No, seriously. We were in the same art class, and one day I’m sitting there drawing this anime style winged guard for a story I was writing, and she just sat down across from me and started talking about how awesome it was. By the end of class we were friends and she invited me to sit with her and her friends; I almost didn’t do it, since I normally ate lunch with Mir-Mir and her friends, but for a while there I kept feeling left out of conversations and awkward, so I thought I’d try this whole “making new friends” thing all my other friends were doing… That and I have abandonment issues, so I thought I’d get back at them for daring to make friends other than me.

This is the group I walked up to: find Hunny!

Can’t? She’s the blonde one… no, the one on the bench.

They were in a class lower than me, well, except for the one girl,  but we all loved anime and manga and art and writing and all the creative things in the entire world like acting and movies! Hunny especially was talented, what with her adorable kitty drawings and writing abilities, and her website, and her piano and flute, and sign-language, and clothes designing skills… We were awesome and full of win and spread our otaku goodness across the entire school! WOOO!

For her birthday that year, we all went out to the local Chinese buffet place, and we got the cute waiter:

He had anime hair.

It was the perfect start to a perfect storm of awesome, later we went to her grandmothers place to stay the night, and we made up a game called the Blushing Game. It was a hilarious game, using each other anime crushes and our creative abilities, we created mental images and stories to make people blush, and we even had a point system.

I remember that Tiffy like Sasuke of Naruto fame, and Hunny liked Dark Mousey… but I can’t remember who the Blonde One liked… it might have been Satoshi from DNAngel… I remember that I didn’t like anyone, I was past that point of fangirling and had moved on to writing my own characters and fangirling over the awesomeness I had made, but for the night they made a human form to the kyuubi no kitsune, and thrust him, half-completed and full of badassery, at me.

Eventually things downgraded into bad porn, though, when the Blonde One started talking about Dark throwing Hunny on tables and covering her with Buckets Of Butter… I fell asleep…

And then the Blonde One swore she saw the Tooth Fairy in the pendulum of the clock, so we all hid in one bedroom, and I slept in the doorway to protect everyone.

Butt Gremlins

 So the other day, the Hedgehog is just laying on the bed when he suddenly announced in a cheerful voice, “I have butt gremlins!”

“They go: ppppbbrrrrruuuupbt! That’s how they growl.”

Then he got  up, and as he walked away, he farted. “Oh, that’s Ted. He says hi.”

If You Read This, The CIA Knows...

What doesn't help my case:  this freaks me out somehow...

 Okay, by this point in time I doubt there is anything I could do to make you guys think I don’t freak the fub out every time something slightly weird happens,  especially not with the following story supporting evidence against me… I mean, telling you all I love horror movies and creepy pasta would probably do nothing to sway you…

Anyway, when I went to the Renaissance Faire with my friends, the night before we went, me, Lulu, and Tiffy shared a bedroom. Tiffy and Lulu had the bed, while I laid on the couch at the end of the bed, and after the lights went out we laid for a while and started talking; and after a while Tiffy started to fall asleep.

At first we talked about the NaNoWriMo contest and how I was competing with an old friend of ours who thought she was an amazing writer but who made Stephanie Meyer look like Shakespeare. From Stephanie Meyer we fell into how libraries are destroying books and we all want to move to Canada. From that we fell into how the US government could  pretty much care squat about the average person, and the fact that most of them are just in it for money and power. Ultimate power ultimately corrupts, after all.

While I’m not exactly an insane conspiracy theorist, I pay attention to evidence, and when talking about the government, I can’t help but to bring a specific something up: “I still don’t think we went to the moon. I saw something on television once, about how in this one picture you can see the crosshairs behind the lunar lander. I saw that picture in my science book that year. It’s true.”

Somehow other things we doubted about the government kept coming up, and the more we talked… the more the room started to feel creepy  and defiled. Shadows looked like they were jumping in the corner’s of our vision. It felt like being little again and afraid of the dark and monsters under the bed.





What if there were members of the CIA laying underneath the bed listening to us talk, ready to pounce at any moment?!

It got worse when I brought up something that had never made sense to me: “And with black boxes being virtually indestructible, able to be found even in ocean crashes, how is it we never found a single one of the 9/11 ones…?”

That was it, we couldn’t take it anymore. Getting up both at once, Lulu and I rushed for the bedroom door and opened it a crack, letting light from the bathroom fill the room. Instantly we were relieved, and I let out a sigh.

Feeling safe again, Lulu and I went back to bed.

Happiness Forever

On the way home from watching the Terror and the Spawn today, a day so awful I'm reluctant to even begin making pictures of the chaos for a blog post, I saw something magical...

I saw a shooting star...

 I closed my eyes and wished the first wish I could wish for: I wished the Hedgehog and I could be together and happy forever.

When the father of the Spawn and Terror dropped me off in the parking lot, it was to see that Hedgehog was only just leaving for work. He was running a little late. This never happens. I never get to see him right as he's leaving when I've been watching the Terror, and he's rarely if ever late. We talked a bit and he told me we had internet again, he'd paid it for the month, and I let off a bit of steam about the day, and I promised to meet him at work like I hadn't done in forever, and I went inside.

This is something like what the apartment looked like when I left this morning:

Only worse.

And this is what I came home to:

Gods above, he must've been bored out of his mind to do this!

... After my day... this was amazing... I also felt the usual horror of being so bad at being an adult he had to be one for me, but dear gods above, he cleaned the whole thing!

An Anger Too Great for Words...

... If you've read the last couple of blog posts, you might wonder exactly why it is I haven't mentioned anything really about Google canceling my ads and taking away the near $200 I was going to get paid that me and the Hedgehog needed for survival this week since his money is going to the new LoZ game...

... This is because I am possessed by an anger too great for words...

You see, in order to activate an adsense account with Google, you go through a lot. First they have to approve your blog, then confirm your e-mail address, then confirm your phone number by calling it, then you have to give them your ssn, then they send you a pin in the mail to confirm your real address which you input into their site... It's a long process.

I had just received my pin and was getting online to confirm it so I could have them send me my check when I discovered that Google had disabled my account due to "invalid clicks". Just so we're clear: do not click my ads because you love me, I am in no way encouraging you to do it. I knew immediately who it was... I shall call him... the Alien.

You see, the Alien is a well-meaning but strange fellow, and he thought he could help me get money by spamming my blog and ads, clicking all of them rapidly as often as possible... For Google this is an extremely strict no-no. They don't care who does it, they don't care that some companies pay people to click on their ads all day, all they care is that it happened on my blog... and they took all my money and gave it to the companies, the same companies who sometimes cheat the system by spamming ads...
(... Heh... shoutout...)

CLICK ALL THE ADS!?

 But for me, it was the Alien. He spammed my blog with clicks, Google saw this and took back the money he made me, and I told him to stop and thought it was the end of it... but it wasn't for Google, oh no... I was a threat to them, so they shut me down.

And when I see the Alien, he's dead... he owes me $200...

... Won't even see it coming...

Zombies Will Fall From the Sky

A few years back on Halloween, me and my friends got together to celebrate. It was recent, but I'd gotten into Wicca like my friend Jess had a couple years before, though I'd been researching it for far longer than I'd been interested in joining it, and we'd decided we would have the best Samhain ever.

Since my dad could care less if we ran around the woods at night or slept in the back yard, so long as we had a nice warm bonfire, everyone came over to my house, and we kicked off the night by walking around the neighborhood talking. It was fun to get everyone in the mood for a scary night, me and Jess telling stories about some of the crazy and scary things we'd seen in the neighborhood. Like that time we were swimming alone and saw a faceless woman in her backyard swimming pool. Or that time I'd seen some pale, dark haired, woman run down the driveway seconds before Jess left her house.

By the time we'd gotten to the edge of the woods we'd sufficiently freaked everyone out, everyone out but ourselves, there is. For some reason when someone first becomes Wiccan, they're overwhelmed with the strange sensation that scary stuff just can't touch them anymore, because now they're part of the things that scare normal people. At least, that explained Jess not being afraid. I'd been seeing freaky stuff my whole life, it was just an accepted part of my day if something weird happened. I wasn't afraid because I told myself that it those things wanted to hurt me, they could've done it a billion times over already.

Hunny, however, was terrified beyond all belief. She stood there, trembling, on the verge of tears, begging not to go in. So I stood up and offered her my protection, even at a time before the adorable kid had become my precious little sister. I gave her a flower from a tree to hang on to that I remember meaning protection in one of the spells I'd recently looked at, then I grasped her hand and held it tight and we started off on our walk.

It was dark in the woods, and the red clay was slightly damp from raining a couple days before, and we had to walk around large mud puddles a couple of times. It was a good place to be quiet and let the other's get freaked out even more. I remember thinking it was funny, not because they were scared, but because Jess wasn't. She was normally, for lack of a better term, a bit of a scardy cat about these things.

After walking a good way into the woods, I thought I saw something move off ahead, a bit off the path, but before I could mention it to Jess, I caught her looking at me with a bit of worry. Subtly we shifted closer and I jerked my head at it and she nodded, frowning. So, we both saw it... it wasn't an illusion...

On the outside we kept laughing and talking, stopping to show the group a small shrine I'd set up to the spirits of the area. We all stopped and said little prayers for the spirits, but I kept my eye down the path... I saw it move, shift... It was a weird shape, kind of like a weird tiger person, if I had to describe it simply. It was crouched down and looked like it might be a kind of leaf orange in the daylight, with these shadow stripes, but there were clearly these... big beefy arms and the shape was like a man hunched down, arms in front for balance. It was creepy, but whatever it was, it wasn't messing with us, but it was watching.

Gulping down my fear and doubt, I tucked away my adrenaline rush and reminded myself that if it wanted to hurt me, it could've done so already. Instead I moved up to Jess and whispered to her, both of us confirming that we were seeing the same thing; she looked over her shoulder to glace at it, and I saw her face pale. "It's moving closer..." She murmured softly, and my stomach felt chilly. I looked back quickly as well, and I saw that it had indeed crept closer, and even as I watched I saw the back legs shift forward and more weight get placed on one of the arms. No trick of the light then, it couldn't be... I saw the head tilt, felt the eyes make contact, and I looked ahead quickly.

"That's pretty much all of it," I said, hiding my fear. "We should be getting back for dinner." I announced, in an effort to get us all to leave slowly but quickly, and without giving it away. After all, they'd all met my dad's Girl-fiend, they'd know it would be a bad idea to make her start yelling at us because we missed dinner.

Relaxed now and laughing, the rest of the group began to file away, but Hunny stuck close to me, still scared, and held my hand, while Jess hang back with me. I tried to hide it, but I could see that Hunny noticed something was wrong. "What is it?" She asked, and nonchalantly and quietly, I reassured her it was nothing, just one of those things we saw all the time; but when I looked at Jess she nodded at me, face grim. Still following us then... I couldn't resist, I looked over my shoulder.

It was now on the path, closer than before, but still far enough back it was only a strange shape just where the path curved out of sight.

I shivered and looked ahead, and tried to keep the group from noticing. We would be fine, we just had to get out of there. We kept up the ruse for a good while, looking back to see it staying just at the edge where the path would curve out of sight around a bind, but after a while we looked back and it just wasn't there... I didn't feel relieved, though. I was still wary...

We made it out of the woods pretty safely and then went home and ate dinner, made by my dad's Girl-Fiend, and then we went out back to clear out a place to set up the tent in the little grove of trees in my back yard. We set up a fire and laid down every blanket and pillow that could be spared in the house, referred to as a pallet of doom, and then we set around so that Emmers and Jess could use their tarot cards to predict things or tell about past lives.

I remember being stupid and saying something to Emmers as a reply when she said that something always went wrong with her readings. I told her that made she and Jess could read the same thing and we'd compare, and she got really mad at me, "So Jess is right and I'm wrong?" I tried to explain I only meant that if she did read things funny sometimes, maybe if they predicted the same thing we could see the differences, but it didn't help...

After a while, Jess pulled out her ouji board and we started to play with that. It went alright for awhile, it was answering questions fine, but when someone asked me to ask who'd I'd one day marry, things got a little weird... It spelled out letters just fine, but it went to a G, and then a B, and then a Q... and then an I and an H... It just wasn't a name. For a few minutes we kept trying, but it just kept giving garbled and non-sensical answers.

Finally, frustrated, Hunny demanded to know, "So are zombies going to fall from the sky or something?" She wasn't even touching the planchette anymore, but me, Jess, and Emmers were. I felt my hand get dragged, it was the most forcefull it had moved all night, and I saw Jess let go of it in shock and Emmers eyes bug out.

The planchette pulled our hands to "yes".

The Awesome Apartment of Hedgehog and Kit!

Me and the Hedgehog live in a hospital!

Most awesome building ever.

No, seriously, we do. See, our apartment building used to be an old hospital, it was converted a long time ago to house people. Of course, if you look close enough, through the dingy gray carpet floors and the fake wood panel walls, you can still see the shapes of the old hospital rooms… It’s not so bad really, despite the fact my friend the Blonde One said it looks like something out of a Saw movie (then again, we don't often consider the Blonde one to be much of an authority on things other than web design...). I mean, it’s not like me and the Hedgehog are the ones living in the apartment that used to be the morgue. That was his aunt before she moved out!

Our apartment is a studio, which means that aside from the bathroom there’s no real escape from each other. So you can imagine that when we’re mad there’s no real place to go in order to cool down… which is why as of late we’ve been hanging out in the bathroom.

No, seriously.

It’s brightly lit in there, unlike the main room, and since it used to be a hospital bathroom it’s fairly large, large enough to set up a chair and a desk for the computer. We keep the window cracked and dangle the wi-fi adaptor we got from a cell-phone company out of it, so we get a full signal… Yeah, feel free to think of us as crazy. I certainly do.

"Hey, can you pass the toothpaste?"

Another interesting fact about the bathroom is that when the Hedgehog is in here late at night he claims to hear a woman talking to him. He always yells to see if it was me, but normally I’m either curled up asleep or I’m reading a book, so obviously it wasn’t me… There’s also a tile missing right in front of the bathroom door. I kinda freak myself out when the Hedgehog is gone for his military stuff by imagining scary things in there… Those nights I don’t sleep and leave the lights on all night, and even then I only sleep when the sun is up and the kitchen light is on.

We have a kitchen with the tiniest sink imaginable, which makes three dishes look like we haven’t washed them in a week. Also  in the kitchen we have this super moldy tile that’s quite terrifying. I never look up…

Only it's more colors than this.

It’s scary up there.

Oh, and above our bed there’s a square cut out of the tile. It was there when we moved in, the Hedgehog’s little sister made a really funny statement about how a hand would come down out of the hole at night and we would have to feed it…

I hunger for tacos!

Yeah, it freaked me out the first week we lived here. Now, not so much, but only because we like to imagine that Ceiling Cat lives up there.

Recently we got some glow-in-the dark stars and stuck them all over the ceiling, so now when the lights are out it’s all glowy and I imagine Ceiling Cat is peeping down at us from outer space.

Ceiling Cat loves you!

It makes me sleep like a baby…

No, really. This was the argument.

Our neighbors are kind of crazy… The first night after we moved in I heard the neighbors arguing… it was weird…

Those guys, the guys to the left of the apartment, used to argue constantly until the baby was born… at least,  I hope the baby was born…  I saw her in the hallway one day and she was pregnant, and a couple months later we’ve heard a baby crying in that apartment…

They aren’t the only  neighbors who fight,  though.  In fact, just last might, right after I got home from watching the Terror, the guys to our right and across the hall started screaming horribly. Then I heard glass shattering. When I went out later, the hallway was a mess…

There was a crib in front of a door and a bag of garbage had been emptied in the hall, and some clothing, men, women’s and children’s, was all mixed up with broken egg shells and a shattered fish bowl with the fish bowl stuff all strewn everywhere… shattered glass and bottles and rocks… A real mess…

Oh, hey! They’re arguing again! You know what this means? I'll have to talk to the police later.
Edit: And I did!

Oh, and a few months back we heard similar arguing and the sound of shattered glass and one of the window pane’s  for the stairwell was missing at there was blood splattered on the window and floor…

And the kids in this building love to bug us…

I swear they stand around waiting for the door to open...

They also like to call the Hedgehog my husband when talking about him.

This is a thought which terrifies me...

Oh! And sometimes at 2 am they like the play basketball!

Yeah, we see you out there, kids...

And I’ve seen two people get arrested here! The first guy waved a gun at the police! Yeah… home sweet home…

Morning After Edit: So, yeah. We ended up laying awake until 3am while they yelled and carried on in the hallway, by the way, this was after I'd already had to talk to the police because of the trouble they were causing. Eventually the landlord showed up, screamed at everyone, and made them clean up their mess; but until that happened, Hedgehog sat up playing DS and making “banjo noises”.

Why is he so cute and childish?