Super Late Post

Alright, so a few posts back,  on mine and the Hedgehog’s anniversary, I mentioned that the Alien was coming over. Well, when he showed up that day, we opened the door to this:

That is a box full of turkey and a bag of corn, stuffing, pumpkin muffins, brownies, gravy, and potatoes au gratin. After I put up all of the food, I sat and worked on a blog post while the Alien and my Hedgehog played Yu-Gi-Oh and nerded all over each other.

The Alien told us about how on Skyrim this dragon kept trolling him… flying up behind him and breathing fire on him, then flying away when he turned around to fight it.

Then we went to Wal-Mart and Game Stop and Wal-Mart again, trolling everything in our paths.

While we were in the store, someone put a Domino’s sticker on the driver’s side door of the Alien’s truck. We thought it would be funny  to  leave it, and according to the Alien… it’s still there…

Then we went to Taco Bell and the Alien got the new triple stack steak thing…

What I was expecting... What he got.

Seriously, it came out super huge and wrapped in tin foil, with real steak... dripping cheese.

It was actually a day too hilarious and awesome for words.

Happy Birthday, Hunny!

Believe it or not, if it wasn’t for the Blonde One, I would never have met Hunny, or even Lulu and Tiffy for that matter. Heck, if it wasn’t for the fact I was so ridiculously talented, I never would have met the Blonde One!

No, seriously. We were in the same art class, and one day I’m sitting there drawing this anime style winged guard for a story I was writing, and she just sat down across from me and started talking about how awesome it was. By the end of class we were friends and she invited me to sit with her and her friends; I almost didn’t do it, since I normally ate lunch with Mir-Mir and her friends, but for a while there I kept feeling left out of conversations and awkward, so I thought I’d try this whole “making new friends” thing all my other friends were doing… That and I have abandonment issues, so I thought I’d get back at them for daring to make friends other than me.

This is the group I walked up to: find Hunny!

Can’t? She’s the blonde one… no, the one on the bench.

They were in a class lower than me, well, except for the one girl,  but we all loved anime and manga and art and writing and all the creative things in the entire world like acting and movies! Hunny especially was talented, what with her adorable kitty drawings and writing abilities, and her website, and her piano and flute, and sign-language, and clothes designing skills… We were awesome and full of win and spread our otaku goodness across the entire school! WOOO!

For her birthday that year, we all went out to the local Chinese buffet place, and we got the cute waiter:

He had anime hair.

It was the perfect start to a perfect storm of awesome, later we went to her grandmothers place to stay the night, and we made up a game called the Blushing Game. It was a hilarious game, using each other anime crushes and our creative abilities, we created mental images and stories to make people blush, and we even had a point system.

I remember that Tiffy like Sasuke of Naruto fame, and Hunny liked Dark Mousey… but I can’t remember who the Blonde One liked… it might have been Satoshi from DNAngel… I remember that I didn’t like anyone, I was past that point of fangirling and had moved on to writing my own characters and fangirling over the awesomeness I had made, but for the night they made a human form to the kyuubi no kitsune, and thrust him, half-completed and full of badassery, at me.

Eventually things downgraded into bad porn, though, when the Blonde One started talking about Dark throwing Hunny on tables and covering her with Buckets Of Butter… I fell asleep…

And then the Blonde One swore she saw the Tooth Fairy in the pendulum of the clock, so we all hid in one bedroom, and I slept in the doorway to protect everyone.

You Know You Play Too Much Assassin's Creed When...

I’m a bit of a clingy person, I can’t help it, really… Abandonment issues and all. The Hedgehog normally handles it very well, especially when it means right before he leaves I follow his every single movement from about a foot away from him at farthest, following him as he puts on his shoes and coat and gets ready to leave for work.

Hi! I was just following you from three inches away as you moved to get your keys!

The other day however, he got a little upset and demanded to know what I was  doing. Without thinking my  first reply was,  “Stalking you.” … And thus the greatest game ever was born.

You have no idea what's about to happen!

I crept in closer and moved quietly, following him as he crossed in front of the bed. “You’re not doing a very good job, I’ve noticed you.” He told me,  but I was undeterred: “Of course you have, it’s just the two of us in here.”

... Would you notice me if we were in a crowded room...?

Aw crap, it's flashing yellow... time to blend...

Well, since he had spotted me, I ducked behind something as he went to the closet, bowing my head and pressing my hands together to blend, peeking ever so  often around the corner to check on him. A couple of times he looked at me and laughed, but that was only because he had yet to realize he was my  target.

... What's he doing by that closet...?

No, seriously, what's he doing?

Finally he kept his back turned long enough that I could make my move. Quickly and silently I darted across the room, flicking out my hidden blade and aiming for his throat, but at the last second he suddenly turned, driving a dagger into my upper thigh. How could I not have seen that he was an assassin as well?

Getting hit in the leg does hurt...

Especially with a knife.

 I lost my balance and fell into him, trying one last time to take out my target, thrusting my  hidden blade for his throat, but I had been exposed!

Yikes! And away!

Where's a bale of hay when you need one?

 I fled quickly and hid myself, waiting until surely my target had forgotten...

Boop!

Resynchronization and my wounds heal!

 At which point I strode back out…

... What's he doing...?

My sync bar senses something...

But now he was flinging throwing knives at me from across the room! One hit me in the stomach, the other my shoulder, while another grazed my leg. I was injured, but no vital spots had been hit, I would get him yet!

Markers can hurt.

In reality I would've bled to death later...

As I lunged for him he grabbed a sword and swung it,  but I blocked it with my hidden blade, then grabbed the sword and pushed it away, pulling out my own short blade with which to do battle. But then he pulled out a small knife and we paused the game for a moment because I didn’t wanna hurt him or get hurt with real weapons, so he traded the blade for nun chucks made of Wii remotes.

He dropped those quickly however and went for the door, grabbing up a book. I followed him though and shanked him quickly… but he was civilian, worse, a holy man! How had this happened?

I'm changing the rules mid-game!

...

So I stalked him a bit and decided he needed to be interrogated…

I can't shank you, but I can punch you!

TELL ME WHAT YOU KNOW!

Saving Throw

 So Hedgehog and me were reading Hyperbole and a Half (mostly me... only me, but when I laughed he came to look) and I saw this picture of Allie looking pretty hot (and festive!). So I said, "Hey, Hedgehog! You know the Hyperbole-lady? Come look!"

So he wandered over and took a look and announced, "I'm leaving you for her."

I was okay with it, because damn, he'd get someone prettier and funnier! I love the Hedgehog, he deserves spontaneous insanity and tons of happiness.

A few minutes later I saw this one post where she was in a bikini (I was reading the ones from the beginning of the blog) making this crazy face, so I had him come look. He announced, "Okay, I'm back with you."

It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out why. "It's because she's flat chested, isn't it?" I asked, and he confirmed with a, "I like boobs. They're your saving throw."

Well, I laughed at him. "I'm so putting this in the blog, you know. Wait till I tell everyone that my only saving grace is my boobs-" Well, there was going to be more, but he cut me off. "I said saving throw, not grace. Haven't you ever played D&D?" There was a pause at which point he realized that despite being a nerd, I hadn't... In fact, the only thing ever stopping me from playing was my fear of being social with other nerds...

 So Hedgehog shook his head, "You have to put that in there. Then I make a boob joke and a D&D joke."

... I'm dating the most awesome man-child ever.